Five Guys makes a good, if messy burger.
Five Guys burgers are tasty. There’s no doubt about it. And the breadth of topping choices means everyone can make their burger exactly the way they want it to be. In a way, they’ve idealized fast-food customization. And their fries are are particularly good, especially the cajun spice variety.
It is so expensive for what you get. The price is more than double what you’d pay for McDonald’s, but it doesn’t taste twice as good as McDonald’s. It’s hard to know what you’re paying for with that extra money.
The menu is confusing and daunting. A “double cheeseburger” is nowhere to be found, because a “cheeseburger” has two patties. A single cheeseburger is a “little cheeseburger” for some reason. This is not defined anywhere on the menu.
The cheese is placed during the assembly phase, so it doesn’t get a chance to melt on the griddle. The burger is wrapped in foil rather than paper, which crushes the bun. Thereby, I’ve never seen a photogenic Five Guys burger. If you order fries, they will be dumped into your bag, which you will receive whether or not you ordered for takeout. Your hands will be dirty before you unwrap anything, making it impossible to eat the meal cleanly.
Even if you like the free peanuts, it’s a weird gimmick that makes for an unsafe place for people allergic to peanuts.
I’ve surely got it out for Five Guys. Because they are good, but they’re also kind of annoying about it. They’ve made a place so confusing, messy, and unsafe, littered with quotes about how good they are. “Willy Wonkas of Burgercraft” doesn’t even make sense.
I would love to see the concept retuned. Lose the peanuts, the foil, and the “ghetto grocery bags.” Melt the cheese while the patty is on the griddle, wrap the burgers in red-checkered paper, and place them neatly on a tray. Keep the price. It’d be such a huge improvement.